To say I'm a little "quirky" about food would be a major understatement. And even I, (yes me) have noticed my "quirkiness" (ahem, OCD) exacerbating into the next phase.....OK maybe I need an intervention...Paxil?
I started thinking about this a few days ago, and noting in my head certain things I do while preparing and/or eating food. Then I started writing down my "quirks" on a piece of paper because the list kept growing and expanding. It's ALIVE...I'm a freak!
I always thought of myself as pretty low-key. You've met that person before, the one that inevitably announces "oh I'm very easy to please." Do yourself a favor and run like Hell!
Now that I've done a little soul searching....no WONDER my husband avoids the kitchen like the Bubonic Plague. Part of the list of "quirks" are so intense, I had to break them down into sub-groups....maybe Celexa would be a better choice.
Funny though, the dog senses no danger, and eagerly awaits a perfectly precise cut morsel ( see "quirk" #7) to randomly drop on the floor.
I resolve that there is a squadron of Foodies out there that share my "quirks" and nod their heads in unity as they read the list. They just get it.
Here is a list of my "quirks" and a brief explanation:
1. Watermelon is best eaten cold- Because it tastes better and is more refreshing, to me anyway.
2. Cantaloupe is best eaten at room temperature- Because when it's cold, it's gross and gets hard.
3. Soup needs to be served so hot it burns your taste buds- Nothing worse than lukewarm soup.
4. Meat should be cut at a 45 degree angle, against the grain- Duh. Quit hacking!
5. Pasta-parts A, B, and C:
A. Pasta needs to be cooked to al dente only-We are not sterilizing surgical instruments in an autoclave...it's pasta.
B. "Meatier" pasta is better with more "mouth feel"-such as pappardelle, rigatoni, fettuccine, even penne- Angel hair should be banned. Even when you eat it's thread-like consistency, you're like...."what was that?"
C. Do not change the shape and integrity of elbow macaroni- Barilla pasta calls their version of a half spiral shape with ridges along the sides "elbow macaroni."- I call it a travesty of the true humble elbow macaroni I know and love.
6. Plating must be visually appealing- You go through all that work, why not plate it beautifully? Even my eyes start drooling before I've taken my first bite...
7. All ingredients (especially veggies),must be cut in uniform pieces- First of all, it cooks more evenly, and secondly, I don't want to see random sized hunks of anything.
8. Cook cuts of meat (not roasts or whole birds) to touch, not time- When I watch someone diligently watching their clock, while a delicious rib eye incinerates itself on a grill, I must intervene. I've been known to take over a grill or two, that is all.
9. Sandwiches must be cut in half- My husband will disagree, but who wants to watch someone shove a loaf of bread into their mouth with cold cuts on it, not me.
10. Coffee must be "cardboard color"- Not black, not milky white, cardboard color. Just enough cream to slightly "color". Too much cream ruins the true coffee flavor/smell. Too little cream, and it's still bitter.
11. Evenly distribute condiments on burgers- Onions under the burger, pickles on top. If you pile them all on top you spend more time "reloading" as you eat, than actually enjoying the burger.
12. To make the perfect gallon of iced tea, use 13 teabags- Years of experience has yielded this perfect recipe. Thank you Dad. I tried to get away with 12 teabags in times of struggle....it was not the same.
13. Ice cream/frozen yogurt are perfect when it is 1/3 melted- I have a real problem with hard ice cream. And I will patiently wait for this to happen, or I'll throw it in the microwave for about 10 seconds if I don't have the patience.
14. Baked goods are not meant for transport, leave it to the experts- Trust me, baked goods on front seats of cars are hazardous to your health...ask my totaled car.
.....not ready (see #13)
I started thinking about this a few days ago, and noting in my head certain things I do while preparing and/or eating food. Then I started writing down my "quirks" on a piece of paper because the list kept growing and expanding. It's ALIVE...I'm a freak!
I always thought of myself as pretty low-key. You've met that person before, the one that inevitably announces "oh I'm very easy to please." Do yourself a favor and run like Hell!
Now that I've done a little soul searching....no WONDER my husband avoids the kitchen like the Bubonic Plague. Part of the list of "quirks" are so intense, I had to break them down into sub-groups....maybe Celexa would be a better choice.
Funny though, the dog senses no danger, and eagerly awaits a perfectly precise cut morsel ( see "quirk" #7) to randomly drop on the floor.
I resolve that there is a squadron of Foodies out there that share my "quirks" and nod their heads in unity as they read the list. They just get it.
Here is a list of my "quirks" and a brief explanation:
1. Watermelon is best eaten cold- Because it tastes better and is more refreshing, to me anyway.
2. Cantaloupe is best eaten at room temperature- Because when it's cold, it's gross and gets hard.
3. Soup needs to be served so hot it burns your taste buds- Nothing worse than lukewarm soup.
4. Meat should be cut at a 45 degree angle, against the grain- Duh. Quit hacking!
5. Pasta-parts A, B, and C:
A. Pasta needs to be cooked to al dente only-We are not sterilizing surgical instruments in an autoclave...it's pasta.
B. "Meatier" pasta is better with more "mouth feel"-such as pappardelle, rigatoni, fettuccine, even penne- Angel hair should be banned. Even when you eat it's thread-like consistency, you're like...."what was that?"
C. Do not change the shape and integrity of elbow macaroni- Barilla pasta calls their version of a half spiral shape with ridges along the sides "elbow macaroni."- I call it a travesty of the true humble elbow macaroni I know and love.
6. Plating must be visually appealing- You go through all that work, why not plate it beautifully? Even my eyes start drooling before I've taken my first bite...
7. All ingredients (especially veggies),must be cut in uniform pieces- First of all, it cooks more evenly, and secondly, I don't want to see random sized hunks of anything.
8. Cook cuts of meat (not roasts or whole birds) to touch, not time- When I watch someone diligently watching their clock, while a delicious rib eye incinerates itself on a grill, I must intervene. I've been known to take over a grill or two, that is all.
9. Sandwiches must be cut in half- My husband will disagree, but who wants to watch someone shove a loaf of bread into their mouth with cold cuts on it, not me.
10. Coffee must be "cardboard color"- Not black, not milky white, cardboard color. Just enough cream to slightly "color". Too much cream ruins the true coffee flavor/smell. Too little cream, and it's still bitter.
11. Evenly distribute condiments on burgers- Onions under the burger, pickles on top. If you pile them all on top you spend more time "reloading" as you eat, than actually enjoying the burger.
12. To make the perfect gallon of iced tea, use 13 teabags- Years of experience has yielded this perfect recipe. Thank you Dad. I tried to get away with 12 teabags in times of struggle....it was not the same.
13. Ice cream/frozen yogurt are perfect when it is 1/3 melted- I have a real problem with hard ice cream. And I will patiently wait for this to happen, or I'll throw it in the microwave for about 10 seconds if I don't have the patience.
14. Baked goods are not meant for transport, leave it to the experts- Trust me, baked goods on front seats of cars are hazardous to your health...ask my totaled car.
.....not ready (see #13)
